“It has been two years since I last harmed myself and that’s why I got this tattoo. It also symbolizes all the obstacles I have overcome. I just got out of the clinic and for the first time in two years I’m back in the ’‘real” world. I have proved myself I can push through. Everything still feels a bit new and unaccustomed but I try to stay busy. I applied for schools but because I missed out on so many years of education there is barely a school that will take me in. Luckily I found a job in a shoe store. I’m glad to have some stability. It’s hard to say if I’m doing fine right this moment because I feel a new chapter has just started. We should probably have this conversation again in one year..“ (2/3)

“I’ve always been a shy girl. In primary school I got bullied but don’t ask me to recapture any memories. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t.. I completely blocked out most of it. In high school I got good grades until my second year when all of a sudden things went downhill. I felt really uncomfortable in my own skin and I was extremely unhappy. I couldn’t keep up with the pressure and at some point I became suicidal. That’s when I knew it was time to search for help. The first psychologist I spoke to, I tried to open up as much as possible. I thought, if I tell her exactly how I feel I’ll get better faster. She referred me to another therapist. I felt so betrayed. I kept getting referred from one psychologist to another and it made me shut down completely. During that period I didn’t work on myself. Life passed by and I wasn’t healing. I was just a girl stuck in a clinic sharing a room with three others. Right before my evaluation I realized that if I didn’t open up, my situation wouldn’t change. I managed to get into another clinic. They had a special program for people with a personality disorder. It was the first I felt I had a chance of getting better..” (1/3)

“I met her 6 years ago on an online forum for women looking for a sperm donor. I responded her call with: ‘I would be glad to help you getting a baby.’ It was the start of a long and daily email conversation. When we first met we had a beautiful day together walking in a Belgian city. I remember waiting for her train to go back to Amsterdam I held her tiny hands in mine and I knew.. this was true love. I started coming to Amsterdam more often and we got into a relationship. It was a fairy tale. Four months later she was pregnant and the next year our wonderful daughter was born. It was the happiest time of our life. We had a beautiful family and the first 3 years we never even had the slightest argument. Unfortunately dark clouds gathered over our love story. Our daughter kept having problems sleeping at night and there was no more time for romance or intimacy. It lasted for about a year and a half like that. I thought I was OK with that but it seemed I wasn’t. I met someone else. We got into a relationship but I only confessed this to my girlfriend after a few months. She was devastated. Our life became a nightmare. I broke up with that other woman and we stopped having contact. When I came back to my senses, I was full of regret but relieved I ended the affair. I knew I had made the worst mistake of my life and I was so happy that our family was still together. As I was looking at my girlfriend, I got tears in my eyes. I realized what an exceptionally beautiful soul she really is. I felt something I never though was possible, I wanted to marry her. I wanted to devote myself to her and to our child for the rest of our life but she couldn’t get over it. She kept becoming very emotional and losing control over her emotions. It went from bad to worse. She couldn’t take it anymore and begged me to leave her. I was devastated. I went into a deep shock. I couldn’t stop shaking and trembling anymore. The first days I barely ate or slept. I cried my heart out, I was torn apart. For months I have been crying and shaking and suffering. 14 weeks have passed and still I wake up every day shaking. I have never had these feelings so I don’t know what is happening to me. I keep having this fantasy in my mind that she will forgive me and that we will restore our beautiful family. She keeps saying that it won’t happen. Playing the violin on the streets helps me to distract my mind. When I see all those kind smiling faces passing by my heart is able to let go for a while and sometimes these difficult feelings no longer have a grip on me. Although many people tell me I’ll get over it, I feel this time I won’t. She has always been so kind to me. We really were a wonderful family. The weight of guilt and regret for what I have destroyed is just too much. I am broken.”

“Every month we raise about 80 euro’s for cancer research. It started when kids in our school were using the word ‘cancer’ as a curse word. We wanted to change that so went to talk to our school principal. He suggested we would have a fundraiser for cancer research by setting up a weekly cafetaria. Since we don’t have a cafeteria in our school we thought it was a good idea to sell Turkish pizza’s. We went to a Turkish bakery and we negotiated with the Bakker. He gave us a really good prize and now we sell pizza’s every thursday.We donate our profit to cancer research. We also talk about the meaning of cancer. We raise about 20 euro’s per week. Many people ask us if they can make an online donation but since we are under 18 we cannot open a bank account. The school has offered to open a bankaccount for us but we turned the offer down. If they control the fundraiser it wouldn’t be our project anymore and we wouldn’t learn and have so much fun”
“What have your learned so far?”
“I learned how to negotiate.”
“I learned how to manage cash”
“..and I have learned how to be an entrepreneur.”

“I was in a program where I learned about being healthy. Now i’m an ambassador for the program and i’m teaching other kids how to be healthy too. Sometimes all the ambassadors and I go out on the street and we show kids how much sugar is in our food. I explain them that even a healthy cookie can have up to 10 grams of sugar in it and Coca Cola can give you cancer.”

“I hope you don’t take it personal..
They have been shopping with grandma and now they have had it for today..”