“What is the hardest thing about being 14?”
“Being a child and becoming an adult at the same time. While your dad is secretly following you around to see if you are not lying about going to your friend, your mum is asking you if you should be on birth control.”

From Russia with love..

“He is the best dog in Amsterdam, Well except for that one time he trashed my house, ruined the furniture and ate all the food he could find the in fridge.”

“Where did you two meet?”
“We met on an online dating site, it’s actually our first date.”
“Did you both mention ‘blue hair’ in your dating profile?”
“Well I did, he didn’t.Then he showed up with the same hair color.”

“We just became friends 30 minutes ago over a game of basketball.”