When I would use XTC I experienced a certain calmness and things made sense. I was addicted but still I managed to keep my job as an administrative assistant. By the time I turned 21 I realized something had to change. In the meantime, I got in touch with a cousin who I could talk with about my situation. We sometimes talked for hours and he would listen to me. He is a spiritual and peaceful soul and I saw how his attitude impacted people around him in a positive way. It was inspiring and appealing to me. During this period, my drug use decreased and slowly I started to feel a little better. I was working as an administrative assistant and during lunch time I would talk to colleagues in other job positions. Any change I had to ask them for advice I would use. Almost all of them told me to go back to school so I did. I decided to study and become a social worker. I wanted to become the person I so desperately needed when I was growing up with an addicted father. I was doing really well in school and ended up getting my bachelor degree in Pedagogy. Initially I did have to go and see a psychiatrist because my own passed was preventing me from doing my job right. I needed to heal myself first in order to really help other people. Getting help from a professional led me to accept myself for who I am.